January, 29, 2018

Very Little Time Again, Sorry!!!
1. Sickness
2. My Ward
3. Love
1.I am feeling better, but I just got off of the drugs that I needed to take, so I will find out sometime this week if I am really better, but I think I am!  Whatever that counts for, sorry I can't provide more.  As of right now, I am feeling great.  I had the chance to play volleyball for like 4 hours, it was so fun!
2. As far as my ward goes, it was just turned into a branch.  It has roughly 50 people every week.  It is the same as ours back home but with a lot less people and a lot less formality.  Don't think it is not reverent.  Everyone in our branch is one family.  They all know each other and have no cares.  Everyone shares exactly the truth and I love that there is nothing hidden.  Everyone trusts everyone and they all are just so close.  It reminds me of home but stronger.  I think that it is something we all could try to work on!  It's not bad being closer to our brothers and sisters, remember, that's what we are!  There is no reason to hide yourself from your family.
3. I feel an outpouring of love!  I feel and have felt so much love this week!  It is crazy!  I am here in an internet cafe and trying not to cry because I just feel everyone's love surround me in this moment!  It is hard to explain but know that I feel LOVED!  I feel your prayers and I see them coming true!  It is amazing to see the hand of the Lord in my life and it is amazing to see how people have helped me!
I love and miss everyone with all my heart!!!  I really want everyone to know THIS CHURCH IS TRUE!  I HAVE SEEN IT!  I have seen so much more than I ever thought I would.  I love it all and I wish to share this amazing, beautiful, perfect gift with everyone!!!  -  Elder Cazier

January 22, 2018

Elder Squire and I in front of a bridge that has like 160 years.
(this sentence is correct in Spanish)

The Bishop and I in front of that same bridge.

When He Turns. (Preface; Read D&C 84:88)
In the section above mentioned, I have found comfort this last week.  I have imagined seeing Christ before me and His guardian angels on my left and right.  I have felt his love and protection during this week.  I also noticed on Thursday that something felt weird!  I felt wrong.  We went out and I was still feeling that way.  We were not having much success anywhere we went.  I started to focus on trying to see Christ before me, preparing the way to the hearts of those in need and those around me.  I noticed something!  He is perfect, He knows exactly where to go, but I am not.  He may go before me to the right house and then turn around and I, being human, made a wrong turn or stopped too early or am walking away from Him.  I started to feel bad and feel like we had gone away from where He had prepared and where He had wanted us to go.  We had literally just walked out of a city (The cities kinda just start and stop).  I had no idea what to do and how to do it!  I was lost but I continued to focus on this scripture and see if I could look and see His footsteps to follow and find the one in need!  We turned and started to walk the way we came and I was looking at the ground and thinking "What would Christ do if He was with me?"  At this moment I looked up just to get my bearings and I imagined Christ turning and saying, like He did to His apostles, "Why are you troubled?" and giving a gentle smile showing His love for me.  I felt the spirit wash over me and I thought to myself, what would I want Christ to see as he turned around and saw me.  I took a visual image of myself and saw how troubled I really looked.  I hadn't yet smiled and I wasn't even enjoying what was around me.  I was looking at the dirt thinking.  I thought once again, what would Christ want to see from me when He turns to look at me if one of his servants and sheep had lost their way and needed a shepherd to guide him back to His fold?  I instantly started to smile and look up.  I knew at that moment that He was watching and that He had prepared a way for me and for all of His Children.  Times may get hard and the world may feel like it's collapsing around us, yet, just as in this story Christ will take joy in seeing us smile and continue to follow Him and His ways.  I know that through all my journeys so far in Mexico and all my challenges, the largest of all is being patient with a good attitude waiting for the showers and mighty winds to stop and yet smiling the entire time with faith that it will get better and improve.  It may be the hardest part of my days, yet, I know that as I work and progress and become better He is there right with me helping me and providing what I need to accomplish the means set before me!  I testify of the power of a smile.  As simple as it may be and even as you may not mean it, that smile helps you more than we know.  It brings us closer to Christ!  I promise you that as you stay cheerful and follow Christ that you will feel His love for you and feel His arms support you when you fall and His hands guide you when you can't see!  I know the church is the best way to come closer to him and be guided by His servants and by Him.  I love and miss you!!!  In the name of our Savior Jesus Christ, Amen.
To Dad,
This time has been hard.  I am working hard and yet I am not making much progress.  I was told that it would be like the snowball effect, yet, it hasn't been.  If anything it is a backward snowball effect.  I am pushing a larger snowball now and it is just getting harder.  I love the work and I love the people!  At times I am just so tired that my faculties stop working.  I have never known this feeling.  I tried to fix it but eating healthy is a really bad idea here.  The doctor said that my broccoli and lettuce is most likely the cause of my illness.  She recommended that I eat like a normal Mexican and just not care about eating healthy.  This is hard for me and it is driving me insane!!!  I love veggies and to my knowledge, there is no way to eat them here!  Fruits with a shell, like an orange, are kinda safe, but that is about it.  If you have any ideas, I would love to know them.  For now, I am going to eat what I know to be safe and won't give me more worms.  Yeah, I have worms :/  I threw up a moving hair and my companion said: "Well, you have got worms".  So, yeah, I have them now.  It is gross to think about!  But I have a medication to fix it.
I am looking to the everlasting tomorrow with worry and fear, yet, with hope and confidence.  I have faith, yet, I feel fallen.  I know what to do and am doing it, yet, I am not progressing.  I am doing what I can and what I know to be right, yet, I fail every day and it seems like everything around me is becoming more and more distant, yet, I can see further than I have ever done before.  I guess I am just noticing how much I have left to do, even after I have done so much!  It is insane!  But I feel up to the challenge and this... This is a good one to start!
I have found that each night is an end and each day is a start!  I am trying to use this to my advantage but am having issues!  I am finding that the natural man and his laziness is really strong and I am pretty darn weak!  But at the moment I am holing out and am still working hard.  I can't do my workouts for fear of damaging my body and I won't be able to do them for another 10 days!  That is according to the doctor that I saw.  So, I have started to slow down on food and I am still feeling way tired all of the time.  One of the medications I take also had the side effect of making me drowsy.  Right now I am getting like 9 hours of sleep and I am still way tired!  I just can't get less sleep than that right now or I will fall asleep in a lesson.  I am just trying to ride it out.  I will have to pull out of it when I have more strength.  I am hoping to have that by the end of the week but we will see about that.  That is when the medication runs out and I will really know if I am better.
I love and miss you.  I am just sharing the bad right now but there is a lot of good!  I have seen how much I have improved and I am helping in the lessons.  I am making sense to people now and I realized where my mistakes were.  It is crazy, but I see my progress and it has given me insight into how long this is really going to take.  That is not the problem right now.  Man so much good but so much bad!  It is crazy right now!  We will see how this week changes.  I have hope that it will be a good week.  And I have faith that I will start feeling better soon!

January 15, 2018

1. Illness
2. Work
3. It's Amazing
1. I am not better yet and I called a doctor and they said to try some different drugs.  Those are not helping either, so it is very likely that I will go to a doctor tomorrow.  It is kinda crazy but it has only gotten worse and so it is really getting to be no fun!
2. The work in my area went crazy this week and it is likely to only get more so.  We have always had issues finding people interested in the gospel but this week we had two group activities to just find people in our area and so we have a ton of people to contact and see if they really want to progress or not.
3. We have gotten a ton of names from the activities.  We have visited a few already.  It was insane!  We had some hard times but now it is starting to pay off.  I am so excited to help them learn and come closer to Christ!  It is amazing!  This is why I came out here!
Love you guys and miss you.  Sorry for the short letter.  I don't have a ton of time today.  -  Elder Cazier

January 8, 2018

1. Photos
2. Spanish
3. People
4. Illness

2. I thought I was getting the hang of Spanish for a little bit but as soon as the holidays ended it went away.  Turns out I learned how to have conversations with missionaries and not with people!  I was doing so good.  It is just a little frustrating and that is kinda a good word to describe my week.  I'm just getting back to what is normal for missionaries but it is really not normal at all for me!  When I got here to my area and to my mission it was a great time to learn a little about speaking and to get ready to work.  As far as working goes it is not the best time for that.  Just getting back into the swing of what it was like my first 3 weeks is rough but I am loving it!  I am learning less but more!
3. People here are so different.  They are a lot alike but there are a few key differences!  Like they do not have a concept of keeping their word.  In America, if someone doesn't want to do something they will make an excuse or they will just tell you 'No'.  Here they will tell you "Yes" and then they will be all ready to go but they never will!  We have had so many people say they would go to church and they are great people but they just don't like doing what they say they will!  It just bugs me but at the same time, I get that it is just not a thing here.  My companion says it is pretty normal to see this kind of stuff, but I am just so used to people doing what they say they will do.  It is hard to come from that and have people who just choose not to.  For example, we had an investigator who wasn't really progressing but she knew the church was true and that we were trying to help her.  We invited her to church after an awkward lesson of her just trying to push off what she knew was coming.  We told her that we couldn't keep coming by if she didn't go to church.  She kinda just said "ok, I'll go."  We knew that she wouldn't but we left it there because those were the first words that she spoke during the whole lesson.  We left to continue to work at contacting.  Not to our surprise, she didn't go to church.
We have done just a ton of contacting this week because we don't get referrals (Please GIVE MISSIONARY REFERRALS, BECAUSE LIFE SUCKS WITHOUT THEM).  The only way to really get investigators is by knocking doors and THAT DOESN'T WORK HERE or anywhere, I imagine.  We have contacted for like 4+ hours a day and nothing has come out of it!  We found a lot of doors we don't have to knock again!  But that is about it.  It is turning into a finding game.  The field is white and ready to harvest, now I just need to find the field!  We still have some amazing investigators right now but they are all people who we met before this week.  Right now they are all having a hard time.  Two of our investigators' fathers died this week and I guess there is a 9 day mourning period in their religion.  We will get there but we have to start with the basics!  So this week will be AMAZING!   I am so looking forward to teaching them and helping them progress towards Christ!
4. I have gotten so sick it's not even funny!  Something is wrong with my stomach, something is very wrong!  Theis week I have just had pain, at times it just hurts so much we called Hermana Bennett (Pres. Bennett's wife, she is in charge of medical stuff) on like Wednesday and she told me to get a drug.  I tried to get it in my area but it does not exist in a Rancho!  I just got the medicine today and I am so glad it's not even funny!  It should only take about three days to work and if it doesn't we will go from there.
I love and miss you guys and the food and just America!  But I am loving it here and am so glad I am here!  Have a good year! - Elder Cazier

January 2, 2018

Kaysen with a New Member to the District

1. Photos of New Year's Eve
2. Cambios (Transfers) or Not
3. A Short Story
4. A Normal Life or an Extraordinary Life

This is how I do Laundry, it is called chacka chacka.

We sent paper lanterns into the sky on New Year's Eve. It was cool!

2. Well, I did not get cambios.  Elder Squire is still my companion for the time being.  This means, for sure, next time I will get a new companion.  I am excited, yet, I know that I am not ready so I am preparing like mad.  It's going to be a great 6 weeks!
3. So we tried to contact some people we found in our area during an activity.  We found all but one and they didn't really want to hear more.  So we were looking for the last one.  We went to a house that we thought would be good and we thought it was his house.  When we walked up and asked if there was an Arturo living there they answered no and asked what we wanted to talk about.  We told them we are missionaries and we wanted to teach him about the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  One guy asked us why there are a lot of churches.  Elder Squire tried to answer him but he just cut him off and started talking about how he knows that we are saved through faith and works don't matter.  He would ask us a question and them not let us talk and we were very respectful for about 30 minutes then we said we have to go.  He said something like "What? Leaving so early? I guess you are not true because you have not answered any of my questions.  I guess you don't have the answers.  You are a bunch of idiots for believing in your church."  We turned around once more and tried to help him learn.  This time we were a little more forceful, still very nice and kind but we made sure we got the truth across.  In the end, he and Elder Squire were almost in a yelling match.  He kept only sharing one weird scripture that was way out of context from the Bible.  We showed him in his Bible that it was out of context.  He kept quoting it and kept just being very rude.  I got the urge to leave immediately and so I asked in a normal tone and not raising my voice, "Please, one minute."  Everything kinda stopped.  "We have to go now but I'd like to leave you with my testimony of Jesus Christ."  I proceeded to leave him with my testimony and we left as soon as I said amen.  He tried to stop me from talking but I just kept going and when we left I thanked him for his opinions and for his time.  After we left I just felt a surge of anger flow over me.  I know that the spirit blocked that out in the moment I was there because afterward, I wanted to go back and yell at him, but we couldn't.  I wanted so much to throw down!  Yet, in the moment of me speaking all I could think of is we were only making him mad and he is my brother and I don't want him mad at me.  I know those were not my thoughts because I didn't like what he was saying and wanted only to show him what is right, yet,  that's what I did.  I am glad I did that and not what I wanted to do afterward.  I think he might have learned more if I did what I wanted to!  Harsh words, yet, know that I say them in jest :)
4. Normal life is not normal.  I am a missionary and so normal life right now is extra ordinary.  I get to live a life of service and teaching.  It goes beyond me and my efforts.  It is back to what it should be.  The holidays were very nice and fun and relaxing, but it's a step back into the life I left in Idaho!  I am glad it happened and I wouldn't change anything but I am very glad to be working hard again.
I love and miss you all.  Sorry for the weird timings on e-mails and short e-mails.  Times have been scarce and it has been kinda hard to write.  I hope this reaches you in high hopes and a good start to a new year. - Elder Cazier
To Dad,
Dad, you have raised me well, for on the 31st I had already written out what I wanted to do for the next year in two places, on a piece of paper and in my journal.  I have read the paper and will continue to read it every morning and night.  I have a creed.  I have found that reading a creed for people like me and with likemindedness helps me feel like I am more than just me and that I have more strength than I really do.  It forces me to strive for perfection and grow constantly.  I have found much joy in it and in preparing and thinking of how to improve it!  It is something I try to do every day yet I price my journal above it so If I have time in my day after that I sit down and write a new one or put down ideas for the next one.  It aids me in remembering what I prize more than anything!
I worry about mom.  I have worked in the medical field before and I know she is strong but I fear we are putting too much upon her shoulders!  I worry that her health will fail her and that she will grow weak under the strain.  I am keeping her in my prayers.  I fear that she overworks herself.  I know how hard that type of work is and how hard school is.  And on top of that, she has a family and is taking care of Hank!  Keep an eye on her and try to make sure she gets plenty of sleep and food.  College kids have a hard time keeping up with just work and school and they are in prime condition.  Keep a watch on her and make sure she doesn't work herself to death.  We both know her and we both know she will do that.  It is in her nature!  Just take care of her as best as you can for I want a mother to come home to and not one that has been destroyed in the years that I have been away.  I am not sure I could live with myself if that happened!  It would break my heart!
I have always had the same problems but I am finding that every problem I see and try to fix the Lord just makes it disappear.  I have found that as I write out what I need to do, what I want to do, and what I would do if I could do anything right now, I accomplish all of it!  I also know and promise you (this is a promise from a servant of the Lord) that as you keep detailed records of your day and everything you do in your day and your feelings throughout the day, you will receive insight from God into your life.  I leave you with a final promise, as you look and record where you saw God, you will be blessed with more than you can write!  I promise that!
You know I thought back to before Hank's dog bite, and you know what, we were all very different.  I don't really remember anything from before that but I know the world was a very different place and it has changed!  I feel empathy for you and for mom.  Your lives have been so much harder than anything I see around me.   I'll share a short story.  When I was just starting to understand Spanish a man tried to say his life was so much harder than another life on Earth!  I pulled the life of Christ and Job and others from the scriptures, yet, he said his life was harder than all!  His life was hard because his brother is very sick and he has to work to pay the bills.  Yet he lives in a house a lot bigger than ours and he has a brand new BMW and he is living a life that he can afford, yet, life is hard.  I shared our family's experience and more than that I shared your experience.  Out of everything he shut up and actually listened!  He then looked at me and said "Sorry" and then drove away.  We live a life that others can't even comprehend!  Yes, that man was born in the streets and yet he made something out of his life.  We may have had a better start but our outcome is harder than what he could imagine.  I'm not saying our life is harder than Job's or Christ's, but I am saying that we live differently than the rest and the fact that we do all we do is insane!  I offer all I can give to aid you and my family.  I may be away but I can help.  Tell me what you need and I will figure something out or I will turn to the Lord.  I know that as I serve Him He blesses me!  I know that as I ask for exact blessings for others, they come true.  I have seen it work in my life and have had it happen in the lives of my investigators.  It will happen for you as well!
I have really learned what works for me and what doesn't and that's what growing really is.  It's learning to express the exactness of your talents and making them grow.  I have applied all I have learned from you and from school and from books I have read over the years, yet, I find more growth from the scriptures and from my journal.  In journals don't sugarcoat anything, leave it as it is, record facts and goals and spiritual experiences in your life.  Go by month, for each month needs goals and a main theme for improvement.  Then it is each week, and then each day and it all builds into a year and years build into a life and our life builds into an eternity.  There is no other way to say that this one book of records we keep is the way and foundation into making the most of our lives!  It is the only way I have found that I see improvement and the only way I see how God had laid the bricks in my path of life.  For He has laid out a plan for me and you and the only way to see the path behind you and the path ahead is by recording the turns you make and the details of what surrounds you!  I tell you what has worked for me and I believe that it will work for you.